June 20th, 2018. Unknown.

Perhaps others were around in the morning, but I only remember my mom and wife. I have no recollection of my parting words. I’m sure they weren’t enough. How could anyone expect to encompass so much meaning and time into a few sentences?

“At least I have the chance” I thought.

“And if this is it, oh well. I hope everyone else gets along ok.”

For a split second, I noticed that never in my life have I ever been so selfless. I laughed at myself.

“I just want to be comfortable.”

And with that, my mind went blank.

—

I woke up strapped to a gurney, hazy vision, unable to move, and with a pounding headache. I don’t know what I said, but it got a chuckle from one of the nurses who was wheeling me around.

“He just came out of surgery?” One nurse asked.

“Yeah, brain mass” the other answered and turned towards me.

“You’re out of surgery now. The MRI machine is loud, so I’m going to put ear plugs on you. Keep sleeping.”

I remember being inside the machine. I remember the incessant beeping and screeching and scratching echoing throughout the inside of the tube. It was like trying to connect to the internet 15 years ago. I hated that modem noise.

“Well I guess I’m alive, it’s too dull for it to be paradise” I thought.

“I can’t wait to be home.”

Thankfully, I fell asleep. I really dislike that sound.

—

I was still very much present during the surgery. But I have no memory of the time in between.

But I know that the Los Angeles Dodgers lost to the Chicago Cubs. Portugal, Uruguay, and Spain where all match winners in the FIFA World Cup, and some group in Texas put up a funny billboard urging Liberals to leave the state. You know, a slow news day.

I only know this because I went back and read updates during my stay in purgatory.

You can do that sort of stuff now, see what you missed out on. Still though, I missed the biggest event of my life. Funny how it works, isn’t it?